Tuesday, November 4, 2014

So here's the super encouraging good news!!

First off, I have to apologize for my long delay in updating this blog.  The past two months have been full with an adoption education class, home study meetings with our social worker, psychological evaluations of our marriage and me personally. Good news: our marriage is stable, was praised, and I passed the psych evaluation with flying color as expected :) We had a delay in receiving all the documentation and letters from the psychologists, but all and all the worst of the home study is behind us, and this coming Monday, the 10th is our Last meeting! Our social worker and one other social worker will be coming to our home here in Esko, checking out our living arrangements, and discussing adoption parenting, what we've done for training, and what more we can do. After that she will then write our official Home Study, present it to a board of her peers, and we should be approved to move forward with adoption!!

Next, around the beginning of 2015, we will be working with the Republic of the Marshall Islands coordinator to put together our Dossier and other documents, and if all goes well we could be receiving a referral (RMI government matching us with a child pending our acceptance) around May-June, which would mean we could be traveling this July/August!!! (We then would be in country for a few weeks before arriving home with child)

We are over the moon excited! Let me be the first to say about this: that our God is AWESOME. No, not just because we got great news, but because his timing is perfect. The past couple weeks I've really been struggling with our infertility, feeling old, and I've just not been seeking Him. I've instead turned to sugar and TV shows for distraction, a lot. I've binged watched shows, and eaten too many hot tamales and I'm not real proud of it. But you know what's so radical about my Father? He still loves me, wants me and pursues me. When I fall or get stuck in a rut of negativity and hermit-like behaviors, he still draws me back to himself. He does this because it brings him glory, and because he loves me, and when you truly love someone you want the best for them, and he is it. In him Alone do I find true peace, joy, hope, agape love, freedom, refuge, and abundant life. Sunday I was really
convicted in my much needed quiet time that I have viewed part of his character wrong. Let me explain, time and time again in the Old Testament God allows and even sends famine, distruction and devastation to the people of isreal. Why, people have asked, would a loving God do that? Well, because he loves us deeper than we can comprehend, he knows us best, and what he longs for us is a deep and abiding relationship with him. Why? Because that is where we find all what our hearts and minds seek so deeply; identity and purpose, and everything only he can provide. He is willing to allow his children to suffer for a time and run back to him, for the fate without the famine is worse, a life without knowing our creator. So, with that background as an example, I have seen and can attest to the fact that emotional suffering can be extremely refining and amazing in the fact that when we seek him in it, we grow deeper roots in him, he shows us more of who he is and we can't help but be changed by it.  Just as the disciples were changed by their relationship with Christ for all to see, so are we too by abiding in him. We can boast that because of his finished work on the cross and his continued refining work in us, we can say with all confidence that in all circumstances; he is worthy, love, good, righteous, faithful, just. But where I've been stuck is thinking that this is my reality now, my mission, to suffer this emotional roller coaster well, for his glory. To hopefully show people through my one life a price of who he is, and the sufficiency of our God, to let his story for my life unfold and to respond with thanksgiving with the end in mind. And that is still true, although my God has been teaching me that he loves to lavish blessing on us as well. I look at my life and see more
clearly all the time the blessings I've been so freely given, and after this last adoption meeting I just wanted to fly, and I'll tell you why...:). To see what my God has already blessed me with and to feel him completely reignite our hope again that this process will bring us to our child, and sooner than we had anticipated, well let me tell you, I feel lavishly blessed on!!